Weed is cool. Like really super cool. Many people enjoy it to the point to where 4/20 is a sacred holiday. We all know how crazy great marijuana is. But here’s some weed stuff you probably didn’t know.
Weed Doesn’t Just Seem Stronger
As soon as humans found out about the wonders of marijuana we were in love. Once we started to do really good at science, we combined the two things and decided to make weed stronger. A lot stronger. We pretty much continuously create strains that are more and more potent, with the ultimate goal of course being a weed so strong it would make the hulk cry like a little bitch and piss his purple pants. The DEA has found an increase from about 4% THC in 1995 to about 12% in 2014 in marijuana. By 2017, another study showed, the potency had gone up to 17.1% THC, that’s a 300% increase from 1995 to about 2017.
Stop In The Name of The Law, Man! (high person giggle)
It turns out that people who are good at hacking smoke tons of pot. This is why it is said that during a true technological assault from a foreign enemy, the safest place to be is at the dispensary right beside the Game Stop. The FBI has even had to look into loosening their weed restrictions to keep them competitive in the global game of hacking.
The Time People Thought Catnip Got You High
I’ve never trusted scientists, mostly because according to popular culture and science fiction a ton of them try to destroy the world. That aside, sometimes they seriously prove themselves to be very stupid. During the 1960’s they wanted to see if catnip got you high. Well, some idiot scientist mixed up weed with the catnip, which is seriously like the one thing you need to make sure not to do in a ‘does catnip get you high’ study. The result, was a period of time where people thought catnip got you high in the same way as weed.
The Oldest, Most Ancient Stash of Weed Ever Found
Finding old artifacts and cities is one of those things that seems a lot more glamourous than it probably is. We all envision Indiana Jones type adventure, but it seems that in the real world its just slightly knocking dust off of rocks in blistering heat. But sometimes they end up finding some cool stuff like an old stash of weed smoked by a man in China over 2700 years ago. Life 2700 years ago was probably really stressful, what with the no understanding of medicine or disease, constant threat of animal predators and really uncomfortable clothing, so ya can see why a guy needed to smoke a doobie every now and then.
There Was A Famous Stoner Chimpanzee
Sometimes we teach gorillas and chimpanzees sign language and give them the ability to communicate. It’s an interesting world communicating with them. What are their thoughts? What are their emotions? Can they laugh and interpret humor? Well, in the case of Nim Chimpsky, he had a bunch to say, learning over 125 signs including one for when he wanted to smoke weed.
Bees Closed Down New York’s Largest Marijuana Farm
Bees. They are very cool. They give us honey. They protect their queen. They’ll sting and do other bee things as well. They’ll also sell out a huge marijuana farm sometimes. Bees actually tipped off police and led to the shutting down of the largest marijuana farm in New York City. It’s said that the bees mistakenly thought all that weed was Willy Nelson’s and they don’t particularly care for his music.
The 48 Hour Strain
If you’re like me, you have the haunting fear that you’re gonna run into a fan of the band Phish and they are gonna wanna talk to you about their music catalogue. Well, luckily science has come up with an instant way to escape that horrifying instance should it occur. The 48 hour science weed. Its called Dimethylheptylpyran and when smoked it will keep you high for two days… which will allow you to easily escape the clutches of that Phish fan.
No matter what terrifying doomsday scenario awaits the earth and it’s residents, you should sleep just a little better tonight knowing that there are folks out there thinking of everything to make the end times more tolerable. Relax, there’s gonna be weed. So when you look out your living room window and see the red eyes of the termination machines coming closer and closer to eliminate you, you can at least get really really high first! The Svalbard Gloval Seed Vault is lookin’ out for us and storing over 20,000 marijuana seeds for the end of the world!
The Time 6000 lbs of Weed Crashed into Yosemite
It is said that among the many unique things you can witness at Yosemite National Park, nothing is more breathtaking than the faint smell of hippies that still carries within the park air. This of course is due to the disaster of disasters. In the 1970’s a plane with 6000 lbs of weed crashed in a remote area of Yosemite. Right away hippies of all different types of skill sets descended upon the area. Bongo drums could be heard from miles away. There was blood and sandals everywhere as the swarm of weirdos descended to get the smoky treasure. The US Government had an incredibly wacky time trying to get the situation under control.
The Neil Armstrong of Weed Brownies
To be the first person to embark on anything for the first time in order to benefit all of humanity, always takes a certain amount of bravery. Whether it’s exploring the deep ocean, taking to the skies like the Wright Brothers, or seeing if you can OD on pot brownies… each feat is not for the faint of heart. James Joiner was a man, who in order to prove you can’t overdose on weed ate 900 mg of THC brownies. He survived, but there’s no way of knowing whether or not he remembers what he accomplished.