One day, a movie will be made on the Detroit Lions. It’ll be a story of a team overcoming the odds. Going from the bottom all the way to the top. When that day finally comes, these are the actors I would cast in the Detroit Lions movie.
Of course, casting a biopic is never easy. Sure, Austin Butler made a great Elvis. Yes, Rami Malek was a terrific Freddie Mercury. However, for ever success story there’s a miscasting. For every Austin Butler as Elvis, there’s a Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor. Likewise, for every Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury, there’s a John Wayne as Genghis Khan. Yeah, that actually happened.
Very rarely will a movie get the casting 100% correct. As you can tell, I’m padding myself for the ridicule that’s certain to come for my casting of the imaginary Detroit Lions movie. Most of the time, there is some sort of mix of solid casting choices and questionable calls. I get it. Often, you have to embellish or find a spot to insert some humor where you wouldn’t normally find that.
Casting a sport movie, especially football, is even more difficult because it calls for a very specific type of actor. The audience needs to believe that this person could actually be a football player. Having Christopher Mintz-Plasse play a quarterback is a way to get some laughs, sure, but c’mon. I don’t see anybody believing he’s an NFL quarterback. At the same time, you can’t have the entire cast be huge WWE stars like Dave Bautista or The Rock. You need actors who can…for lack of a better term: act. You can see, there’s a delicate balance at play.
When casting a movie, you’ve also got to keep the budget in mind. I can’t cast all A-list actors for this movie. The studio can’t afford it, and I’d never be invited back to cast a movie again. We can’t have that! So, keep that in mind as you go through the list of my casting. I’d love to find roles for Leo, Clooney, Downey Jr., and Crowe in this movie. I’m sure they’d be perfect. However, I lack the budget. Thus, I’m left with this casting. Let’s get to the list. Roll credits!