Dave and Chuck the Freak

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It’s nice when warehouse stores REALLY lean in to their reputations of selling things in ABSURD quantities. Sam’s Club is now selling a NINE-POUND tub of Oreo frosting.

  It comes in a giant bucket, and I guess you’re supposed to use it to frost like 200 cupcakes . . . but really, you should just take it to the couch and eat it straight up with a big wooden spoon. If you DO take down the entire bucket, you’ll consume 16,380 calories . . . 936 grams of fat . . . 1,521 grams of sugar . . . and hey, 117 grams of protein.

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Sam's Club Sells A 9-Pound Tub Of Oreo Cookies & Creme Frosting

Even as your eyes register the words " Oreo Cookies 'N Creme whipped icing," it'll take your brain a few seconds to catch up, and really comprehend that the giant bucket you're staring at is full of frosting. Nine pounds of it, to be exact.